Rough Whispers
by lostinthemusic6
Summary: Sometimes she wonders if she is even awake at all.
1. Chapter 1

Breathe in.

_"Do ya feel anythin'?"_

Breathe out.

_"Whatd'ya want from me, girl, huh?"_

Breathe in.

_"Don't ya think that's beautiful?"_

Breathe out.

_"Ya ain't a happy drunk at all."_

Breathe in.

_"I hate goodbyes."_

Breathe out.

_"You said you could take care'a ya'self. Ya did."_

Breathe in.

_"Are we close?"_

Breathe out.

_"Just tired of losin' people s'all."_

Breathe in.

_"What changed your mind?"_

Breathe out.

_"The signs are are there."_

Breathe in.

_"We should burn it down."_

Breathe out.

_"Keep singin'."_

Breathe in.

_"There are still good people."_

Breathe out.

_"Faith ain't done shit for us!"_

Breathe in.

_"You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone."_

Breathe out.

_"Yeah, it's a serious piggyback."_

Breathe in.

_"I'm not gonna leave you!"_

Breathe out.

_"I don't think the good ones survive."_

Breathe in.

_"Oh."_

Breathe out.

_"I ain't afraid'a nothin'."_

Breathe in.

_"I'm glad I didn't say goodbye."_

Breathe out.

_"Maybe it'll be alright."_

...

"Hey."

She sucks in a sharp breath, her blue eyes snapping open as she looks up at the man in front of her, his dark eyes filled with concern.

"You good, kid?" he asks, arching his eyebrow.

She sighs, rubbing her temples a few more times before she stands up from the log she had been sitting on.

"Yeah," she breathes out.

"They hittin' ya hard today?" he asks, handing her the water bottle as she makes her way over to him.

She nods her head, taking a sip of the water before she hands it back to him.

"Anything interestin'?" he asks curiously, glancing down at her as they start to walk again.

She shakes her head, frowning. "Just a bunch of words. Don't even understand half of 'em." she answers, shaking her head again in annoyance.

The man beside her shrugs. "I'm sure it'll come back, kid. You're a fighter if I've ever seen one."

She just bites her lip, letting out a small hum in response and the pair continue walking. It's a short while later when she speaks up again.

"Hey Morgan?" she asks, sidestepping a fallen tree and he glances over at her. "This man we're lookin' for, Rick? You sure about him? Seems like alotta trouble for one man." she muses, turning her attention back to the forest in front of them.

She sees Morgan nod his head. "I'm sure. If there's anyone we should be lookin' for right now, it's Rick Grimes. He's a good man."

"I don't think the good ones survive," she mumbles, almost automatically, and her steps falter.

_There's a heat against her skin, warming her as she watches the small shack erupt into flames._

She's back in the forest and she glances over to see Morgan hadn't even noticed her slip up and so she just continues on.

"Just gotta have faith, kid." Morgan answers with a shrug and she has to catch herself from biting out another response, a pessimistic remark from a conversation long since forgotten.

She doesn't say anything, instead just continues to walk along.

That night they make camp in a small clearing in the woods, and she falls asleep quickly, surprisingly, but it isn't long before she hears that voice again, that rough whisper in the wind.

_"Home sweet home."_

And when she opens her eyes, all she sees is blue.

A steel blue gaze, and a rough voice that never leaves her alone and even though her eyes are open, sometimes she wonders if she is even awake at all.

.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I have no idea what this is, don't ask me...it just came to me and would't go away. Thoughts? Continue? Maybe?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! First of all let me just say Thank you! (you really must get sick of me saying that but I will keep saying it so get used to it!) I cannot believe the response I got to this story, especially since that first chapter was more than a little vague and so I have decided to continue with it :) Please read the note at the end of this chapter to better understand how this story will play out!**!

* * *

...

She prefers the distance that the handgun provides but she knows it is not practical. Even with the silencer that Morgan had found for her a few weeks after they met - and both had been pleasantly surprised at how well her aim was - she knew it was better to keep things as quiet as possible. She longed for a long-range weapon other than her "not so silent" gun but so far, all their runs have come up empty in providing her with one - not that she even knew what she should be looking for anyway. There was just a part of her that knew somewhere, the weapon she craved existed.

Until then, she would use her gun when she needed - and when she felt that the risk wasn't too high - but she also enjoyed the feel of that hunting knife in her hand. She couldn't imagine herself ever having been a truly violent person, at least she hoped not, but when the time arose, she realized she could very much handle her own - another thing Morgan and herself had been surprised at learning. She barely even flinched anymore as her blade came down and through the brains of the walkers. It was just a part of living these days.

That's why it was no surprise to her when she rounds the corner and comes face to face with death. Her hand moves automatically, pulling her knife from its sheath without a second thought. She doesn't remember much about her life but _this_, fighting, killing, _surviving_, this she knows how to do.

What she isn't prepared for though is the slippery tiles beneath her, a puddle having formed in the middle of the small convenience store from the storm that had passed through last night. She loses her footing just as she steps forward to brace herself and now she finds herself tumbling down, pulling the walker down on top of her and by the time she finally gets the upper hand she is panting and covered in the sticky black goo, known as walker blood, and she groans as she pushes the now limp, and _officially_ dead body off of her. She lays there for a moment, just to catch her breath and she lets out a sigh as she starts to get back up.

_"Talk about sloppy."_ A rough voice whispers.

"Shut up." she grumbles, wiping her knife down clean before she slides it back into her sheath.

Her response produces a barked laughed. _"Ya know, ya used to practically beg me ta talk. Screamed in my face, got all up in ma' space and everythin'."_

She huffs shaking her head against the pounding that is forming in her skull. "I don't even know what that means." she mutters.

_"Ya will someday."_ the voice responds and she can just picture a one shouldered shrug.

She doesn't respond, doesn't even look around to see if there is anyone in there with her. She knows there isn't. Morgan is in another store, searching for his own supplies and she is alone. Alone with her thoughts and the rough voice and a hard blue gaze and even though she can't picture the man they belong to, she knows that just like her silent, long-range weapon, he is out there, somewhere. He exists.

She just doesn't know where.

_"Ya cravin' any moonshine lately?"_

She clenches her fist as she feels the voice fade away, her head now throbbing steadily and she grits her teeth and continues on through the store, knowing that Morgan will be waiting for her soon.

"We've all got jobs to do." she hears herself whisper and she isn't sure where it came from but she feels that statement all the way down to her bones.

...

_"It's okay to cry."_

Sometimes, she hears a different voice, softer, more comforting. Instead of that intense blue gaze there will be a brilliant green.

She doesn't like it.

The blue gaze and rough voice, it's hard, emotionless, but it's challenging. She wants to prove that voice wrong, show it that she is good enough. That's she's strong enough.

_"I made it."_

With the green gaze, she feels comforted, almost babied in a way. She can't explain it. That green gaze gives her a false sense of hope, that maybe, if she just sticks it out and lets things run its course, everything will get better on it's own. It makes her feel weak, like she can't be trusted to take care of herself. She usually pushes that voice away, ignoring it as best as she can.

_"We don't get to be upset."_

...

That night when she falls asleep she dreams of running through the forest, her lungs burning and her eyes stinging and her heart pounding. She feels tired and she's scared and she can just tell that something awful has happened but she doesn't know - doesn't _remember_ \- what it is she is running from. Suddenly she feels the need to stop, to give up, but just as she is about to stop, she glances up and she sees a pair of stitched angel wings running in front of her and she suddenly finds the strength to keep going.

_"We gotta go Beth, we gotta go."_

She wakes up with a sharp gasp and shoots forward, her hand immediately going to her knife resting beside her. She's panting, gasping for breath like she had been in her dream but she sees the small flicker of a dying fire and she realizes where she is now.

"Ya okay , kid?" she hears Morgan's voice from beside her and she turns her head to look over at him where he is leaning against a tree, keeping watch but also throwing a concerned look her way.

"Beth." she breathes out, tasting the name on her tongue.

"What?" Morgan asks, squinting his eyes at her in confusion.

"I think my name is Beth." she clarifies, taking in a shuddering breath before she begins to lean back down onto the grass, still clutching her knife.

She sees Morgan nod and she appreciates the way he doesn't make a big deal out of it.

"Good name." is all he says and she closes her eyes once again, hoping to catch a few more minutes of sleep before it will be her turn to keep watch.

Just as she begins to drift off into unconsciousness she feels a slight burn in her throat and she wouldn't have had the slightest clue what it meant if it wasn't for that rough voice that she had heard in the store earlier that day and she hears her own voice, soft, almost timid, and she knows it is from another time, long ago. Long before her memories were stolen from her.

_"I need a drink."_

...

* * *

**Okay so hopefully I can explain this in a way that doesn't confuse you guys too much...it's just how I picture it in my head.**

**So first, yes, Beth is remembering conversations from before and those shouldn't be too hard to follow but what I am also trying to establish is that Beth's mind is trying to get her to remember everything but a part of her is unwilling, almost scared to remember. **

**So picture this, _Daryl's_ voice is the part of her mind that is fighting her to remember, to push her to unlock that door that has all her memories stored while on the opposite, _Maggie's_ voice is the part of Beth's mind that is scared, that tells her it's okay that she doesn't remember and that she doesn't need to.**

**Make sense? I hope so...please leave me a review and let me know what you think! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

...

* * *

She can sing.

It took her a while to figure that one out. She doesn't even remember how exactly it happened. It had been about a month ago and they were just walking through the forest, something they did everyday. Beth had been feeling restless, her mind constantly swirling as she saw random flashes of things she still didn't understand.

_An arrow lying in the grass._

_A rumble of a motorcycle._

_A baby crying._

_A rough hand holding her own._

_A piano and a casket._

_Those now familiar pair of angel wings on the back of a leather vest._

She just wanted to tune it out, to clear her mind of all the things that didn't make any sense. So she had started to hum. She didn't even realize she had started singing - can't even remember what song it was either - but she just remembers hearing her own voice in the middle of a chorus and glancing over to see Morgan looking at her, almost a look of awe on his face.

"Sorry," she mumbles feeling embarrassed and fully aware that they should be keeping quiet.

Morgan shrugs. "Don't apologize. Ya got quite a voice on ya, kid." he chuckles softly.

Beth grinned bashfully and had just shrugged, adjusting the knife in her grip. They were walking for only a few moments longer before Morgan spoke again.

"Well ain't no point in stoppin' now. Go on, keep singin'."

"I thought my singin' annoyed you?" she questions and she's just as surprised as Morgan over the words that had sprouted from her mouth seemingly without her control.

"Why would ya think that?" Morgan questions and when she doesn't answer and he takes a look at her face, he suddenly knows what has happened. She tries to ignore the small smile that forms on his lips.

She hasn't tried singing since.

...

She gets headaches and she deems it as only logical considering she woke up with a bullet hole through her head. She isn't sure what happened or how but all she really knows, is that somehow, she survived. Now, months later, she still feels the effects of it. Her head throbs painfully and sometimes her vision goes blurry. She has to take more breaks than she would like to admit but thankfully, Morgan never pushes her too hard. If anything, he has held her back on more than one occasion.

There have been a few times in the past where she had even blacked out, though thankfully Morgan was always close by when that happened. She can usually tell when she has been pushing herself too much and that's why she now finds herself sitting on a fallen log, her legs pulled up to her chest and her eyes squeezed shut, rubbing her temples lightly. She tries to just focus on her breathing, trying to ignore both the pain and the glimpses of another life that are flashing behind her eyelids.

Breathe in.

_"I'll be gone someday."_

Breathe out.

_"Everyone we know is dead!"_

Breathe in.

_There is a chain link fence, barbed wire all along the top, trapping her in, keeping her safe._

Breathe out.

_"It does matter."_

Breathe in.

_"You're heavier than you look."_

Breathe out.

_A small, dark, cramped space. A warm, hard body pressed up against her side._

Breathe in.

_"Pretty soon I won't need you at all."_

Breathe out.

She jumps as she feels a hand on her shoulder and her hand immediately goes to her knife. This isn't the first time this has happened though and Morgan is faster than her, gripping her wrist just before the blade makes contact with his skin.

"Sorry," she mumbles sheepishly, relaxing her posture and Morgan releases her arm.

"You need a break?" he asks her, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"I'm alright," she argues, standing up and Morgan just stares at her, not believing her but also not fighting her.

He nods his head and she takes a deep breath in before she stands, ignoring the pain in her head as she trains her eyes on Morgan's back, letting him lead them further.

"Shouldn't be long now. We're gettin' close." Morgan says after a moment, glancing back at her with a small smile.

"How can ya tell?" she asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

Whatever response Morgan says to her is drowned out by that damn voice in her head and she freezes, closing her eyes tight as another shooting pain zooms through her head.

_"The signs are all there. Just gotta know how to read 'em."_

Morgan looks back at her, hearing her stumble and he frowns. "Maybe we should call it a night."

Beth shakes her head, ignoring the pain once again as she begins to walk forward with a new found stride.

"Told ya I'm fine." she mutters out and she hears him sigh but once again, he doesn't fight her on the matter.

"Almost done." she hears herself whisper and as the wind blows, ruffling her hair slightly, she feels a small smile pull at her lips as the voice speaks again.

_"Go up the road. I'll meet you there."_

_..._

* * *

**Hmmm...anyone up for a reunion soon? ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

...

* * *

She can track and hunt. It isn't easy and she hates to waste bullets but she knows that using a bullet and getting a chance to eat meat is better than eating a stale bag of chips and some berries. So when she catches sight of some tracks, a rabbit to be exact, she lets out a low whistle and gestures down to the trail.

Morgan stops. "Want me to come with?"

She shakes her head. "Still pretty fresh, it shouldn't be long."

Morgan nods his head. "I'm gonna keep scoutin' up ahead. We'll need a place for the night." This time Beth is the one to nod her head. "I'll keep my own trail obvious."

She smiles at that and then they part ways, both sharing a silent look that spoke "be safe." She was only a few feet into the trail when that voice started to whisper in her head.

_"Ya sure you know where yer goin' girl?"_

She shakes her head, trying to shoo the voice away as she bites her tongue, keeping her focus on the trail in front of her.

"Leave me alone." she murmurs to the wind.

_"Ain't never been outta Georgia."_

"Don't care," she grinds her teeth.

_"I'll be gone someday."_

She gasps and stumbles, catching herself on a branch as she suddenly finds herself sitting on a porch, holding a jar of liquid in her hands. There is someone sitting in front of her but it's too dark to make out any features of their face.

_"Stop."_

_"I will. You're gonna be the last man standing."_

"Stop." she gasps, clutching her knife tight in her hand, her eyes closing against the pain. Her head is pounding and she is breathing heavily.

The knife in her hand disappears, a broken shard of glass taking its place. There's pain, so much pain.

_"The pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it."_

She whimpers at the new voice and crouches down, hugging her knees to her chest.

_"You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone."_

She takes in a sharp breath, rising to her feet so fast she has to steady herself against the tree again. She quickly glances around, checking her surroundings, making sure she was still alone in the woods. The pain is gone and she lets out a small huff as she picks up the trail again, continuing further into the woods.

"What the hell was that?" she grumbles, shaking her head.

She wants to remember her life, she does, but like this, where she is left gasping and with tears stinging in her eyes? No, she doesn't want to remember like that.

The rest of her hunt thankfully goes well and she closes in on the rabbit and as she lines up her shot, the wind blows against her, ruffling her hair.

_"I'm gettin' good at this."_

She fires.

_"Pretty soon I won't need you at all."_

Perfect hit.

She walks forward and picks up the rabbit, checking to make sure it is dead before she pulls the extra sack out of her bag and stuffs it inside, deciding to wait until she caught up with Morgan before she skins it. She picks up his trail easily as he purposely bent branches back, scattering leaves along the way. She smiles as she follows, keeping her steps light, damn near silent. She stops and takes her water bottle out of her back pack.

_"What changed your mind?"_

She closes her eyes, feeling that throbbing begin again.

_"Oh."_

"Damn it!" she curses, dropping the water bottle and she quickly bends over, picking it back up before she begins to walk again, her stride annoyed but still quiet. Her head has now got a steady throbbing and she is trying to ignore the black spots that are beginning to cloud her vision. She just about stumbles again but stops before she can and she takes in a deep breath as her head pounds.

"Don't want no trouble, man."

Her eyes snap open at the sound of Morgan's voice and she is moving before her mind catches up, the pain still behind her eyelids but she is able to ignore it as she keeps her steps as quiet as possible. She only has to travel a few more feet before she catches sight of them. Morgan is standing there with his hands raised in a surrender while another man is in front of him, his stance guarded and an elaborate looking weapon armed in his hands.

_Crossbow_, her mind supplies and she winces as a sharp sting shoots though her head.

She keeps her steps silent as she moves around, bringing her position behind the stranger. She keeps her eyes on Morgan, watching for any signs of trouble as she begins to creep toward the man and she is behind him before she even realizes. Morgan is still talking and Beth quickly pulls her gun out and as the familiar clicking rings out between the three of them the air seems to still, the forest ghostly quiet.

The man in front of her, with his back to her and her gun pressed up behind his head tenses immediately. She glances down and that's when she first notices the faded angel wings stitched across the leather and they are far more dirty and tattered than she remembers but she knows she has seen them before.

"Easy kid, everything is good here." Morgan says and the man in front of her grunts, obviously disagreeing with him.

_"Screw you, you don't get it."_

_"Maybe you gotta keep reminding me sometimes."_

There are tears pricking her eyes and she lets out a small whimper and she catches the look of concern on Morgan's face but before he can speak, another voice speaks up from beside them.

"Daryl?"

Another man emerges from the bushes, a gun in his hands and his gaze hard.

"Rick?" she hears Morgan say but her mind is reeling.

_"Ain't gonna have your first drink be no damned peach schnapps."_

The man in front of her takes advantage of the distraction and even through the pain and the tears now streaming from her eyes, Beth's reflexes kick in. The man quickly turns, his arm coming up to knock the gun out of her hand and she brings her hands up to block his heavy weapon as he swings it around. She quickly pushes it down and she lets out a small gasp as the weapon fires, sending an arrow straight to the ground, right between her feet.

She hears a gun shot but it's distant, not from this moment she is currently in and she sees herself in faded blue scrubs. Her vision goes blurry and the black spots are now taking up more space in her sight than the forest and she finds herself gripping leather as she reaches out to the man in front of her.

_"Ain't nothing out there worth seein' anyway."_

There is shouting around her and she thinks she hears her name as she begins to sway before she feels something warm gripping her hip. Her head snaps up and she finds herself locked in a steel blue gaze.

"Daryl." she breathes out, smiling slightly and just before her vision goes dark she sees them sitting at a table, candlelight flickering between them.

_"I get it now."_

Everything goes black.

* * *

**There is only one chapter left and I think you will all hate me for it...who's excited?! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

...

* * *

She couldn't breathe.

She could feel herself gasping and panting, there was a wetness on her face and she concluded that she was most likely crying. Everything around her was dark. Everything except those blue eyes shining and the man they belonged to.

The man that was slowly disappearing, drifting away into the darkness surrounding them. She sobbed, reaching out to him and pumping her legs against the ground, trying desperately to bring them closer, to feel him in her arms.

She couldn't reach him though, his form disappearing completely just as her hand gripped the now empty space in front of her.

"No!" she cried.

_Beth!_

She was falling now, the darkness still surrounding her as she felt the ground give away underneath her. The walls seemed to be closing in on her and she writhed around, feeling suffocated as she realized she was boxed in, trapped in the small, dark space.

"Please!" she sobbed, banging against the barriers she couldn't see.

_Beth!_

She suddenly felt a pressure on her arms, pinning her down and she fought against it, crying out again as she recognized the weight of another person on top of her.

"No," she whimpered, still fighting against the body holding her down.

"Beth!"

She sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes snapping open and she vaguely took in her surroundings of the tent she had been sleeping in that night before she suddenly remembered the body above her and she began to panic again, beginning to squirm and fight and it took her longer than it should have to realize that the gasping, chocking sobs she was hearing were her own.

"Beth! Stop! Beth, it me! _Beth_!" a gruff voice rasped above her and she recognized it but she just shook her head. "You're not there Beth, you're here, you're safe. With _me_." he continued, his hands tightening slightly on her arms, keeping them from hitting him.

She roughly shook her head again, still sobbing. "It was real, it felt so real. So real." she whimpered and squeezed her eyes shut.

"It wasn't real. Just a nightmare." Daryl spoke above her, his rough tone soothing. "Feel this." he grunted, grabbing her hand and bringing her palm to rest against his chest and she barely registered the thumping of his heart beneath her fingertips. "Ya feel that, girl? That's real. Ya ain't there, you're _here_. You're here in this tent with me and you're fine, you're _awake_."

He's quiet then and Beth finally stills her movements beneath him, turning her focus onto the heartbeat that was beating wildly underneath her palm. She hears his breaths above her and she tries her best to match his breathing, bringing both of their heart rates down from the panic.

"There ya go," he murmurs and his grip on her other arm loosens and she doesn't even hesitate to bring her arm up, locking it around his neck and pulling him further down on top of her, his body molding against her own.

He lets out a small grunt of surprise at her action but he quickly shifts his weight, so as not to crush her, and he rolls them over, bringing her with him as he pulls her onto her side. She buries his face into his chest and breathes deeply, letting his scent smother her and dissipate the last remnants of her nightmare. She feels his other hand - the one still not holding her own to his chest - on her back, moving softly against her, soothingly.

"Jesus, woman," he whispers into her hair, his voice relieved but she can still hear the concern. "Ain't had one that bad in awhile."

"I'm sorry," she mutters, pulling away just enough to look up at him.

"Don't apologize. Ain't yer fault. Ya did get one good punch in through before I could get a hold of ya though."

She watches as he rolls his jaw slightly and she can't help the small tug of a smile as she sees the playful glare he gives her.

"It all felt so real." she whispers then, gripping his shirt tighter in her hand, feeling his hand tighten around hers as well with the movement.

"Wanna talk 'bout it?" he asks cautiously, his eyebrows furrowing as he watches her closely.

She takes in a deep breath but doesn't speak. She knows he won't push her but she also knows that he wants her to tell him.

"She shot me," she started softly and she felt him instantly tense. "In that hallway. She shot me, in the head, and you all thought I was dead. Left me behind. I woke up though, I was alive but I didn't remember anything, not really. I kept hearin' your voice though. It was so strange. Somehow I ended up with Morgan and we were trackin' you guys and we finally caught up to ya but things weren't goin' so well. Ya almost put an arrow in my foot."

She hears him grumble under his breath before he snorts. "Morgan, huh? How the hell did ya wind up with that crazy loon?"

She giggles, thinking back to the day Morgan had stumbled out of the woods and how everyone was prepared to shoot him until Rick stopped them, his voice incredulous as he explained how he knew him.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "It was so real." she repeated again and this time he was the one to tighten his grip on her.

"It wasn't real Beth. Ya were never there, ain't never happened. You and me, we walked out of that hospital together, 'member? I wouldn't have left ya behind." his voice lowers and she feels his lips brush across her forehead.

She nods her head and scoots closer to him, burying her face in his chest again. He shifts, laying down on his back and he pulls her against him, letting her use his chest as a pillow as he adjusts the blanket over them.

"Ya should try an' get more sleep." he mumbles, placing his arms around her.

She's shaking her head before he finishes, pulling him impossibly closer. "I can't. I don't wanna go back there." she mumbles against his chest.

"Ya ain't gonna go back there. I got you. I ain't never gonna let nothin' bad happen to ya. Not again." he whispers roughly. "I got ya."

She takes a deep breath before she once again settles against him, feeling his hands run up and down her back and she lets the surprisingly soothing sound of his rough whispers lull her back to sleep.

...

* * *

**MINDFUCK! **

**Bet ya weren't expecting that, were ya? ;)**

**I hope I pulled that off...let me know what you thought!**


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